« TTFN | Main | What Dreams May Come »
Re-Cap
I have approximately 7.9 seconds of computer time, what before Jeff steals the PC, I have to do some kind of baby-rolling-over-heroics, housework is done, and I hit yet another load of laundry (I've done 9 loads so far, at least 2 more to go. Let's hear it for holidays!)
The holiday on the canal boat was lovely. We went through the Four Counties Ring, which we did in 6 days. Why did we do this? Because the canal boat guy who rented us our boat told Angus it couldn't be done. The one thing that Angus is sure to do, upon hearing something can't be done, is to try to do it. He thinks it's because he likes a challenge. Me, I'm thinking potential character flaw, but I might be seeing that as glass half empty.
So we did.
It made for long damn days, that's for sure.
Highlights of the trip:
Angus drove most of the time, because on Day 1 I managed to run into another boat.
It's not as bad as it sounds - the boats go a max of 4 miles an hour. Seriously. You can outwalk the boats. Spend some time on one and you can see why they never feature in a James Bond speedchase. It just isn't possible. "Slow down! I'm going to have to break into a trot to keep up!" "Forget it, Dr. No! You'll have to stay up later than the canal driving curfew to defeat James Bond!"
I tried driving the boat on the second day and once again ran into another boat. We all decided that my mad boat driving skills were better used navigating, taking care of babies, and working the locks. I was fine with that. Of course, you might be wondering how it is I managed to hit 2 boats if the canal boat can only go 4 miles an hour. To this I would reply "The boat is 70 feet long." You might counter with "But still - surely you can navigate a boat, taking the length into account?" And if you said this I would tell you that I am home in a house with 1 working toilet. 2 teens, 2 infants, a shedload of work and housework to do, and peaking hormones. So back off, ok?
See? Look how long the boat is:
70 feet long, man. And you have to steer left if you want it to go right, which is pretty hard for someone like me, who still - at age 34 - has to make the shape of an "L" with her left hand to tell the difference between right and left. It's hard stuff. Nora's driving was just as bad as mine*.
We were also attacked by a spawn of Satan, otherwise known as a beautiful swan.
Those fuckers are mean, man. They have serrated bills. What are those beaks used for, if not to tear flesh from our hands?
At one point, while working one of the fifty thousand locks we had to open, Jeff and I went into a horrific allergy attack. We don't know what hit us, but he and I were gasping, our eyes red and bulging, so full of tears we couldn't see. Melissa and Angus and the twins were fine, it was just Jeff and I. I have no idea what we had a reaction to, but I did manage to get a photo of Jeff during the worst of it**:
After some allergy tabs and some fresh air, we were finally able to see again after an hour or so.
And Nora? Her chicken pox? Lemme' tell you about the pox. We left for holiday and she had maybe a dozen spots. Day 1 of holiday, she had maybe 2 dozen. Day 2 of holiday, when we were in the middle of fucking nowhere, and she develops one hundred thousand spots all over her body including the roof of her mouth, her eyelids, her ear canals, her anus, and all over her face. She was in misery. I know this because I curled up in the bed with her and Nick during that night (they had a double bed which they shared - it was ringed on 3 sides by walls and on the other side by baby gates.) Nora felt so awful that she whimpered and cried all night long. I rocked and soothed and cuddled her with one arm, my other hand curled on Nick's chest like a tarantula which he clutched all night. I think Nora and I got about 2 hours of sleep, to say nothing of my cramped muscles the next day.
Ironically, that night will be something I look back on with fondness.
Her pox are scabbing up now and she's recovering. This household is now done with the chicken pox, for which I'm glad. If we get any illnesses within the next calendar month, though, I'm going to need to be committed because I honestly need a break.
The first two days of the boat trip were glorious - sun, warmth, and me chasing various people around the boat to make them put sunscreen on.
The next four days were not so good. We had to turn the heating on. It rained almost constantly. Jeff fell in the canal, as did Gorby any number of times. The second to the last day I managed to fall into the canal myself, soaking my only warm and dry sweater and frying the insides of my cute little mobile phone, which is now shagged. Naturally I did this in front of a whole bunch of other boats that happened to be nearby and watching. I serve many purposes in life, I think, one of which is to be the constant comedic element of the Stooges variety.
Still. We had a good time, overall. Angus and I went to bed every night at 9:30 pm and fell asleep instantly, thanks to exhaustion, a few glasses of wine, and the stonking colds we had. Now that I'm home, when sitting still I continue to feel like I'm on a boat, that the floor is moving. I would say that's the motion of the waves talking, but in this house it probably is possible for the floors to be moving back and forth, so I dunno. I'm not ready to be back, but at the same time I'm kinda' done with boats for a while.
-H.
* No, she didn't drive. *sigh*
** That's from Total Recall. Please, if Jeff looked like that I'd sell the photo to National Enquirer instead of posting it here, I'm that good a stepmother.
Posted by Everydaystranger at July 20, 2008 12:41 PM • TrackBack .http://blog2.mu.nu/cgi/trackback.cgi/248318
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference 'Re-Cap' from Everyday Stranger.
I still have to make the L-shape, too. Trouble is, they both sort of look right (as in correct, not the opposite of left) to me, so then I end up panicking and driving my bike into a wall as someone shouts "no, your OTHER left, idiot!"
Welcome back!
Posted by: D at July 22, 2008 09:09 AMGlad you are back. Trip looks like was fun even though.......
The trip must have been beautiful. And educational for all. Certainly was for me as I googled and wiki'd narrowboats, canal etc.
Welcome back. Miseed yoour posts.
Posted by: Charles at July 21, 2008 11:25 PMwow... the total recall pic is a nice touch, now i'm going to have rent that!
Posted by: mr child safety at July 21, 2008 08:31 PMOhhh, this entry made me laugh...
Posted by: kellyangelo at July 21, 2008 08:07 PMDon't feel bad, I would have fallen into the canal too, I'm sure! Oh, and you know how they have sea sickness from the rocking on a boat? Well, the rocking feeling once you get off the boat is called "stillness illness" and personally I find it quite irritating! Though with all the illness going around in your house these days, stillness illness is probably kind of refreshing for you :)
Posted by: geeky at July 21, 2008 03:33 PMWhat fun! and a little misery :) We did a longboat vacation back in 2001 out of Notingham .. it was such a blast my hubby and dad still talk about it! Glad the pox is over and done now ... fingers crossed for no more illness!
Posted by: joy at July 21, 2008 01:26 PMthis made me laugh. it made me a little sad too. glad to see you all made it back and sorry Nora got the pox so bad but if she's on the mends then great! :) i really hope for all your sakes that now it will be easy going; chicken pox done, house renovations finishing up, etc. good luck with all the laundry...
Posted by: Liz at July 21, 2008 10:58 AMEver since I was told, as a small child, that a swan can break your arm with it's wing, I've assumed that that is all they do, and they spend their days looking for arms to break. Evil birds...
I've done the Four Counties Ring, it's aces. I fell in at Tixall Wide...
Posted by: steve at July 21, 2008 08:19 AMLooks like a good time was had by all in spite of everything. Glad you're home. I missed you!
Posted by: caltechgirl at July 20, 2008 11:55 PMI've missed you! This post was worth waiting for....LOL
Posted by: kenju at July 20, 2008 10:45 PMWelcome home and congrats on surviving! We are taking our first family vacation in two weeks and it will be on dry land and Im worried!
Gald little Nora is feeling well, your house should be good for a while now- My fingers are crossed.
What an awesome trip! You will always remember it--some good and some bad. I would have fallen in at least twice.
Swans are bad asses if they think you are messing with them.
Posted by: sophie at July 20, 2008 08:53 PMDear Helen, it's good to have you back! (You might say, rightly, "Well where the dickens have you been then?" but... yeah. The point is I'm all caught up now -- it took me hours and hours, but they were well worth it. And now it's good to have a new post to read. And such a hilarious one to boot.)
That trip sounds very memorable indeed. I hope you managed to forget about the house project while you were away -- just reading about the building work made me break out in a sweat, and you are my heroes for tackling this huge task. (Not to mention your handling of all the illnesses -- ugh.) The house looks amazing already. Congratulations!
I like what you can do with 7.9 seconds to work with!
Yeah, you are back!! Sounds great if not hectic! Glad the pox is (hopefully) no longer on your house (surely dogs cant get them?)
Posted by: Moira at July 20, 2008 07:12 PMWelcome back!!
Posted by: Lauren at July 20, 2008 06:15 PMNow that looked like a unique vacation. Someday I'll have to convince my wife to trot out to Jolly Olde England and try out the longboats, that really looked like a lot of fun. Even with sick babies, massive allergy attacks (I sympathize - I get them too), boating mishaps, and falling in the water, you still made it sound like an enjoyable adventure. Glad to hear The Pox is over with, and you all are safely home. Oh, and that was a cute picture of Jeff, by the way. Kind of reminds me a little of Ronny Cox, especially around the eyes. ;)
Posted by: diamond dave at July 20, 2008 05:57 PMSo you're all back safe at home, congratulations!
These memories will be long-lasting because of the mishaps, diseases and adventures.
Like ours many years ago, i.e. breaking tent in storm and rain while frying pancakes for our starving little son.
Or driving to the south of France in the heat of 40°, when he was 10 months old with a rented camping trailer without booking a camping place on the overall occupied camping places.
Or renting a Danish wooden house in the middle of the winter where the heating was not perfect and we were all sick.
Those vacations were the very best - in memories.
Welcome back!
Paula
Not that sad, Easy. I recognized it too. Or maybe we are both just sad??
All in all, still sounds like fun. I would have not only crashed into other boats, but at some point would have run aground. And I still make an 'L' for left and right, which is really pathetic to do in front of the kids. Don't even ask me about backing up-our insurance coverage isn't that great.
Glad to hear the pox are on their way out. Out, damned spot! (sorry) Anyway, I will say again you are one brave woman-not only for managing to survive what you have on a boat, but to come home and still be sane with what greats you.
You continue to remain my hero.
Welcome back!
Posted by: Teresa at July 20, 2008 03:33 PMYay, you're back. We missed you :)
Swans are satan's spawn for sure. I once was attacked by a pair of them when walking around a lake, unfortunately crossing their nesting territory. They are gigantic, frightening and murderous. I swear.
;o)
Lily
that's why my gp always recommends a holiday after the holiday, especially to parents
Posted by: Mei at July 20, 2008 03:24 PMOh my... never without an adventure, eh? Poor Nora. And Poor you! But I am glad to hear you're done with chickenpox - that is a huge deal. The boat looks interesting although I was reminded of (and here's where I share how old I really am!) Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in The Long Long Long Long Trailer. She didn't drive much either. ;) Thanks for taking the time to do a recap (with pictures, even!) for your adoring friends and fans. I, for one, missed you and am glad you're home.
PS: I also immediately recognized that that picture was from Total Recall, and am somewhat disappointed to read that Nora didn't really drive. :: sigh :: ;)
Posted by: Lisa at July 20, 2008 03:04 PMHow sad is it that I knew that pic was from Total Recall?
Better get the commitment papers ready. Children are germ factories...
Posted by: ~Easy at July 20, 2008 01:30 PMGlad to see you're back home! It looks (to me) like a memorable and fun trip. And interesting! Must put it on my To Do list. Glad Nora's on the way to recovery!
Posted by: Julie at July 20, 2008 01:08 PM