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9 Months Old
Thank you from the bottom of my dusty heart for your comments and emails, all of which I've sent to Vicki. I love you for saying something kind and supportive. I don't know how to heal her hurts, I only know I want to hold her hand while she lives on, so I plan on listening and being myself for stability's sake. She asked that I post the following message, which I'm delighted to do:
I wish I could thank all of you personally for taking time to send your thoughtful messages. I read every word and I can't express my gratitude enough. Thank you isn't near the words that I should send to Helen for doing this for me. I'm overwhelmed by all of you and thoughtfulness. I am allowing my mom and my husband to read your words as well hoping to show them why I NEED my laptop and your words might also help them. Thank you again. I love each and every one of you.
Love, Vicki
Right, there's no way to segue so I'll just go for it. I've been meaning to do an update post on Nick and Nora since I am, apparently, a Mommy Blogger, albeit one letting the home team down on the posts.
Here goes.
Nick and Nora have exploded into being 9 months old with the force of a hurricane. They can both sit up unaided and do so for long periods. Nora has become a wonder roller and is rolling onto her stomach and wiggling her legs, so crawling might not be so far off.
Sure, you'd say that they should be able to do that long before now and there are developmental milestones to be followed and blah blah blah. I think people that follow developmental milestones to an exact T and compare their baby with others need to get out more. I think babies are babies, and mine in particular will do things when they're ready (hey, looks like I bought the NHS spiel hook line and sinker.) We generally don't stress (except about their sizes, as they're still way behind) and, in fact, haven't been encouraging the physical developmental milestones as the house has been a very unsafe environment to, you know, crawl, walk, or even live in for the most part.
We work hard on the house.
The twins, not so much.
The truth is I often feel very guilty about how they're treated at the weekends - we're Neglect 'R Us over here. I may be overdramatising a bit, but the babies get carted with us from room to room in whatever bouncy chair/swing/play gym they're in, and we work on the house. They entertain themselves. We interrupt the regularly scheduled play time to wash paint/filler/some other horrible material that causes our skin to peel off of our hands so that we can feed and change and coo at babies, then they go back into their bouncy chair/swing/play gym. I know we're doing it for the right reasons, we're trying to get the house safe for them and liveable for us, but still. You feel bad.
But they can be very distracting when I have lots of work to do.
The babies are ahead on a lot of areas, including reading. They're fucking geniuses. Having already read the veterinary and engineering manuals, they resort to reading them upside down to glean new information.
Aha! thinks Nick. The blue puppy is actually fuzzy! So much has been explained now!
Nora has reached that separation anxiety stage. If you leave the room she panics and screams. What? You're leaving? Are you coming back? Will I starve to death here? Sharks, are there sharks about?
Nick doesn't do that, but he's made it clear he likes to be carried. He loves to be carted around but he doesn't make it easy - while Nora clings on like a baby monkey Nick sits in your grasp with his arms spread wide out, looking up at the lights in the ceiling. Lighting. That's the gist of what the kid cares about.
Even as a baby he already takes after his father.
They're bloody good fun most of the time (even when chicken pocked and we're still waiting for Nora to come down with it, which will likely be next week when we spend a week on a canal boat with Melissa and Jeff. In the pouring rainy British summer. We've totally thought this one out.), and have been spending a lot of time looking at each other and laughing. He'll laugh, then she'll laugh, then he'll laugh, and perhaps you see the pattern now.
And generally it's all fun and games until someone eats someone's head.
They've always taken comfort from the presence of each other, but lately when they notice each other (which isn't constant), it's more than that. It's as though they're actually glad to see the other one there.
It must be nice knowing that you always have a best friend just an arm's length away.
-H.
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waaw, thanks for sharing this with us. great kids, they are awesome it think.
great, beautiful pictures. thank you.
I swear, don't be surprised if you get pregnant again, cuz seeing those two is making ME spurt eggs, and I've already done the menopause thing, lol!
Posted by: Donna at July 12, 2008 05:07 AMLotta love to you babies!!! How you have grown!!!
Posted by: Teresa at July 11, 2008 10:39 PMSoooo sweet! The bath photo made me realize that we don't see a lot of face-on shots of the Lemonheads -- they're adorable!
As for neglect-a-baby, it happens here too, and we don't have the entire house under construction. I'd be more worried if you just left them in the room in which you weren't working only to have to dig them out from under the construction rubble at the end of the day.
Posted by: Tinker at July 11, 2008 09:47 PMAwwwwwwww.
What a great post!
And you're not neglecting them carting them from room to room and letting them entertain themselves. You're teaching them a useful thing: entertain yourselves for a while! Because that really is useful!
Posted by: ewe_are_here at July 11, 2008 02:07 PMOMGOMGOMGOMG they are beyond everything I could have ever thought of boy/girl twins as being. I'm posting after mudslides, so forgive me for ... whatever may come. But Holy WOW they are cute!!!! I can't even imagine how distracted I'd be if I were in your position. And this: "the babies get carted with us from room to room in whatever bouncy chair/swing/play gym they're in, and we work on the house." makes me know you are SO TOTALLY NOT neglecting them - they are an integral part of your HOME (!!!!) coming together. ::: deep, contented colorful sighs ::: You rock. Angus rocks. Chickenpox do NOT rock. Hopefully Nora is done regardless of symptoms and you all can enjoy a nice "real" vacation for now. *fingers crossed*!
Posted by: Lisa at July 11, 2008 05:51 AMThey're so cute!
I think we have those exact same books. Danny does the same thing as Nick - both arms out and head thrown back when you carry him. And both mine are at the separation anxiety stage - but they howl when anybody walks away from them - even if it's somebody they just met 5 minutes ago.
I love your photos.
Posted by: Carol at July 11, 2008 04:31 AMWow. My uterus actually hurts.
Posted by: Tracy at July 11, 2008 02:15 AMThey are just beyond cute. You are smart to not stress about milestones. They will get there when they get there.
The wonderful thing about twins is that even if YOU think you are neglecting them, they still have each other to play with! I can't tell you how many times in the chaos of a weekend we plop them into their "gated community" (safe gated play area) and leave them there to play while we do other stuff in the house. So, I guess we are just another branch of Neglect R Us.
Posted by: Caba at July 11, 2008 12:14 AMThey are so darling. I love how they gravitate towards one another all the time. Mine is the same way about leaning back, arms wide open to survey her land. Makes carrying her around so strenuous!
9 months already? I really can't believe it.
Posted by: Dotty at July 10, 2008 05:50 PMMy son and daughter, while not twins, simply adore each other. My daughter wants to do whatever her big brother is doing, immediately. My son simply gets upset at me and my wife when we put his sister in timeout.
Both of them seek out and comfort the other when he/she is upset. Always. It's really very sweet.
I told someone that parenthood was the most challenging and frustating job I've ever had. And I simply adore it. Getting hugs, kisses and smiles makes all of the bad times simply evaporate.
Enjoy your rainy canal trip. I visited Phoenix one year. In July. In retrospect, I should have vacationed on the sun.
Posted by: physics geek at July 10, 2008 05:45 PMI've already had the chicken pox, so can I come over and marvel at their cuteness?
Posted by: Jen at July 10, 2008 05:09 PMthey are so beautiful. I just want ro smother them both with smooches, pox and all!
Posted by: caltechgirl at July 10, 2008 04:37 PMThank you for sharing your beautiful babies. They are absolutely beautfiul.
Posted by: Cori at July 10, 2008 04:28 PMThey are the sweetest ever.
Posted by: sue at July 10, 2008 04:22 PMAdorable! I love the way you write about your babies, Helen. I wish I had a blog when my babies were smaller because when I look at my old archives from when my children are smaller, the tears well every time.
With respect to developmental milestones: On their wedding day will it matter one bit when they sat up as babies? Exactly.
Posted by: Catherine at July 10, 2008 03:26 PMBrilliant! I love the updates on them. (love your regular stuff as well!) Nathan just started with the seperaton anziet and dear LAWD is it exhausting and possibly the sweetest when he just holds on to me for dear life.
They are beautiful- thanks again for the peak into your life.
Posted by: Christina at July 10, 2008 03:02 PMThose two get cuter and cuter...
Sweet little Bugs!
That bathtub picture is priceless!
Look at those blue eyes. Wow.
I LOVE the bath photo. They are such happy babies. My heart softens each time I see them.
And thank you, Vicki, for taking time to acknowledge our comments to you, especially when you are grieving. I'm still praying for you.
Posted by: Lauren at July 10, 2008 02:13 PMWow you really do have the sweetest little babies - I especially love the stroller picture, it makes me wanna bite those chubby red cheeks! And don't fret, you are doing a wonderful job as a mother, especially considering the chaos going on around you!
~Deborah
Posted by: deborah at July 10, 2008 01:44 PMThey are so sweet! Love the bath photo.
Posted by: Suze at July 10, 2008 01:13 PMOh, sounds like Nick is very much like my son was. Not so much a 'pick me up so we can cuddle' but rather 'pick me up so I can reach more stuff' kind of a baby. Michael just wanted to be higher and closer to things he could not get. Now, thanks to all of that stretching, he is 6'4" going on, well, at least a few more inches! How excellent.
And, you cannot be ignoring them. If you were they would be screaming their bloody heads off and you would not be getting anything done. Self entertainment is wonderful in babes and the best talent is to be able to play with them and have fun while accomplishing other tasks. I am sure you can talk to babies and paint, and lay slate and make faces and plaster and giggle as well as I could study for college and coo to mine.
When you read the books upside down, that's where the messages from Satan are. Keep the kitchen knives away from them and keep the Holy Water on hand!
Posted by: ~Easy at July 10, 2008 11:42 AMThey look wonderful! You aren't neglecting them at all. I'm sure they enjoy being in the same room with you all the time, and I can see that they enjoy each other. Our twins don't pay much attention to each other anymore - they're 12 now - but I know they'd fight to the death to protect each other if they had to.
Posted by: kenju at July 10, 2008 11:12 AMI wish I could zoom back in time two years and email you that photo of you and nick and nora and gorby and say 'look helen! if you hang in there, you get THIS!'
Posted by: anna at July 10, 2008 11:09 AMThere might be Neglect 'R us over there- but man, they look perfectly satisfied. And genius-ly. And like a whole lotta fun. So forget everything about growth and be glad for some light-weighted babies, your biceps will thank you.
Hugs to Gorby:-)
Lily
Posted by: Lily at July 10, 2008 10:04 AMThat picture of you and the twins and Gorby?
Took my breath away.
I love it soooooooo much.
Happy 9 months, genius babies. Happy 9 months, Mama and Dada. (Lighting! Whoda thunk it, eh?)
Posted by: Margi at July 10, 2008 09:27 AMAbsolutely adorable - they've grown like weeds since some of the last pictures. And they look so aware, neat! :) Love seeing Gorby in the background, too.
Posted by: Hannah at July 10, 2008 07:33 AMamazing - i can't help noticing i posted my comment 20 minutes before you posted this post! ... felt compelled to share that
Posted by: Mei at July 10, 2008 07:32 AMwe used to ask each of the children at a particular stage in their baby lives - where's the light? and they'll point up to it - genius - the bursting with pride feeling, so totally get you, never goes away either, heheh...
sending vicki more good thoughts to keep strong xx
Posted by: Mei at July 10, 2008 07:31 AM