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Deliberate Acts of Kindness
Sometimes amazing things happen and you forget that you're a cynic, that you inherently feel that people are something to be wary of, the tiger in the cage, the bear with a hunger pang.
I've been surprised by people before. This blog is one giant gateway to how kind and empathetic people can be. I once drove across Texas, leaving my husband, only to break down and come across the one sympathetic mechanic who fixed my car for free. Nora and I have signed up for Race for Life in June, and all of our families and in-laws and cousins have donated money as sponsors.
And there's the whole UTERUS activity. It's something I feel strongly about, we should have done something like this ages ago, and I love the support we've had. People all over the world, from all walks of life...it stuns me, pure and simple. My cohorts are tireless as we campaign to drain every penny we can get our hands on for Calliope. It's spectacular the way people come together.
And people amaze me.
Yesterday, something extraordinary happened. April - here and here - who is going to be a mom any day now, won my necklace on eBay. I had it in a blue velvet case. I had bubble wrapped it. I had duct-taped the box within an inch of its life, because I love duct tape, duct tape cures all ailments. I had labelled the box and was going to post it tomorrow.
Then April told me to keep it.
That the money was for a great cause, but the necklace, it was for me.
And I cried.
I cried because people are thoughtful when I am not prepared for it, and because I always think I don't deserve kindness. This isn't where you need to reassure me, I honestly feel this way. It's part of what I'm working on in me. I'll get there someday.
The necklace is no longer mine now and I won't wear it again because I know just what to do with the necklace. The necklace is something that makes you feel beautiful, instantly. It lights you up inside when you need a bit of fire for your own. The necklace makes everything feel that much better, it makes you feel that much more confident.
Someday, when she needs it most, I am going to pull out that blue velvet case.
Because as a woman I know that there are times when no one can tell you that you are beautiful, you have to believe it yourself, because even though I think she's heavenly we find it in ourselves to tear ourselves down, because the curse of women is that we are never happy with who we seem to be even when we are told how special we really are.
Someday my daughter will be at a place where she will want to feel beautiful and confident too.
And I will be there with a blue velvet box and a story behind it, because I am passing it on to her.
-H.
Posted by Everydaystranger at April 15, 2008 09:23 AM • TrackBack .http://blog.mu.nu/cgi/trackback.cgi/241257
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I either laugh or cry at the depth in your blog. Thanks for sharing and adding some light to my day.
Posted by: Jan at April 17, 2008 07:06 PMWhat a wonderful thing... for all of you.
Posted by: sue at April 17, 2008 03:21 PMLove no no bounds in its expression. I know Nora will love the necklace and benefit from the infused love.
Posted by: Foggy at April 16, 2008 06:16 PMRace for the Life, eh? Cool. I'm doing the Race for the Cure over here, which looks very similar, although RFTC is more specific to breast cancer. Both are great causes and the day that cancer is finally eliminated as a cause of death will be a day that I pay for a weeklong party. I'm tired of saying goodbye to friends and family dragged down by that scourge.
BTW, the necklace looks fabulous on your daughter.
Posted by: physics geek at April 16, 2008 02:39 PMWelling up at work not a good look but so worth it for this lovely tale.
Posted by: Betty M at April 16, 2008 02:16 PMWow. Amazing of April - and what a great idea for Nora. Wow... thanks for proving once again that the world is a good place. :)
Posted by: Hannah at April 16, 2008 08:09 AMHow nice of April, that's such a lovely thing to do. I know what you mean about being wary of people, even though it's rare for people to be mean, we tend to expect it, and so it's a surprise when people go out of their way to be nice. Glass half empty type reasoning, I guess ...
Posted by: Fleat at April 16, 2008 03:11 AM*snif* Damn, you did it again. Awesome post, awesome sentiment, wonderful idea, fantastic photo.
Thank you.
Posted by: Margi at April 16, 2008 03:00 AMA beautiful story to go with a beautiful necklace. She'll be just as lovely as you were when she wears it!
Posted by: caltechgirl at April 15, 2008 04:43 PMLove it! You are so right about not being able to be told, what a wonderful idea.
I am sure that when that day comes it will light little Nora up from the inside out.
You too look amazingly happy together.
Posted by: Christina at April 15, 2008 03:13 PMA great thank you out there to April. You are a wonderful person.
Christopher
Posted by: Mr.Thomas at April 15, 2008 03:09 PMi'm practically sobbing into my morning tea. beautiful. just beautiful. all of it.
Posted by: megan at April 15, 2008 03:02 PMAnd they lived happily ever after.
Such a wonderful story it deserved that ending.
What a truly unique person to do such a wonderful thing. You are loved H, truly loved. That must feel good.
((((((hugs))))))
Tracy
That is a wonderful story. I cried too.
I have also been amazed at how fabulous everyone has been to help Calliope.
Posted by: Jen at April 15, 2008 02:09 PMNow look what you have done, you made me cry at work.
Posted by: Kathy at April 15, 2008 02:02 PMFucking hell, I'm sitting at my desk all weepy over my ramen. Damn you. What a lovely thing for April to do, and your idea for the necklace is a beautiful one.
Your final lines really hit me, insecure as I am, and also as the mother of a daughter. I'm going to carry on crying now.
Posted by: MsPrufrock at April 15, 2008 02:01 PMI'm here at work, tearing up at your beautiful post, your friend's lovely gesture, and that awesome picture of you and your daughter.
Amazing. All of it.
That was beautiful! It looks great on her already. :) of course, she is beautiful without it, as well! Love that story.
Posted by: Jessica at April 15, 2008 01:29 PMWhat a beautiful post!
Posted by: Andria at April 15, 2008 01:14 PMJust when I think April couldn't be even more beautiful.....
Christ woman-I have been all emotional lately (it happens every Spring), but this just does it. Honestly-you giving up the necklace for a fantastic cause, April having you keep it, you setting it aside for Nora; this is too much. I haven't even had my morning cup of coffee yet.
Kleenex...must go find the Kleenex.
Posted by: Teresa at April 15, 2008 01:00 PMYou are an amazing woman Helen! I love the picture, you are both beautiful. Take care and keep up the good work!
Posted by: Cheryl at April 15, 2008 12:38 PMAnd now, you've both made me cry. You are both fabulous ladies. Thank you!
Posted by: malenkka at April 15, 2008 12:36 PMThat was awesome what april did for you. You deserve that and much more.
Posted by: VickiVickiickiki at April 15, 2008 12:23 PMAwesome.
Posted by: Angela at April 15, 2008 11:38 AMAn utterly perfect end to an already brilliant story!
Posted by: deeleea at April 15, 2008 10:24 AMYou always manage to hit those sweet spots with your posts! Inspirational!
Posted by: Super Sarah at April 15, 2008 10:22 AMTears on a Tuesday morning at 11 a.m are not normal for me....but this one just got me. Whata lovely story.
Posted by: B at April 15, 2008 10:10 AMA wonderful idea, both April's and yours. Random acts of random kindness... they attack from behind and hit your weakest spots.
have a nice day, though :-)
Lily