I can’t remember the first tooth I lost (who does?) I remember the majority of my teeth were thoughtfully extricated by a dentist with an angry metal pulling thing (he didn’t pull them all in one go or anything. This isn’t that kind of story.) Apart from the last tooth I lost, which I made a very big deal to the Tooth Fairy about (“This is my last ever tooth. Ever. That’s got to be worth something.” and indeed it was worth $5) I remember one simply wouldn’t fall out. Wouldn’t. I must’ve been about 7 or 8 (I can never tell kids’ ages and I sure as shit can’t work out my own memory) and my mom was phoning the dentist to book an appointment to get the tooth pulled.

While she was booking it, I munched my way through some peanut butter toast.

It was crunchy. Really crunchy. One of the crunches wouldn’t crunchify.

And you guessed it – the tooth had come out and I was happily attempting to masticate it.

I haven’t had crunchy peanut butter since.

Not long after the twins were born I bought the two Tooth Fairy pillows that are in the photo header of this post. I’m not clear on why I bought them so early, apart from suffering from PPD and needing to have absolutely everything done ahead of time, up to and including putting them on the waiting list for school and buying tooth fairy pillows.

And yet things have come to fruition – the twins have been accepted into said school (more on that later).

And we need the tooth fairy pillows.

Nora was sitting there eating toast yesterday (Marmite, not crunchy peanut butter). She complained that her front bottom teeth were sore. Thinking that a seed from said toast was stuck between her teeth, I went over and got ready to use my fingers to remove it (parenting is done on a hands-on approach in this house). I reached in…

…and felt her two bottom teeth move.

They were loose. Two of them. One of them very loose. As in: coming out in the next few days.

I felt stunned. Nora is just over 4 and a half, and that tooth which is really loose was the first tooth that came in, at about 6 months old. Surely losing it now is early? I hadn’t even thought to check their teeth to see if they were loose. They went to the dentist a few weeks ago, he said they’d start to go by age of 6. Age 4, isn’t that incredibly early?

I smiled at Nora. I felt like crying. I hugged her and told her that her milk teeth (baby teeth) were loose, and that soon they would fall out.

Which then cued Nora for crying.

The two of us were weepy while I explained it was a good thing, that the Tooth Fairy would come and leave money. I brought out the tooth fairy pillows I’d bought years ago. I tried to explain it all, although Nick kept coming back to thinking that the tooth fairy would leave chocolate coins, not real ones (I never broke through that cycle, either) but in the end the tears turned to hiccoughs. Both hers and mine.

I’ve bought two books to read together and help make it easier.

For them, that is.

For me, I am both celebrating and mourning another milestone passed and another door closing. The only thing to help with that is a post about it and maybe some crunchy peanut butter toast.

And wine.

That helps.

-S.

353 days.

PS- Here again, this time highlighting how cheap I am.