I’m feeling mildly rebellious.
Make that seriously rebellious.
I’m not going to go get a safety pin put through my upper lip or anything (although I have debated both chopping off my hair and getting another tattoo, with no real answer on either of those points), but I am throwing down. Not, you know, throwing anything fragile, but I am definitely throwing down.
First off – I am a mum. This may or may not have escaped your attention. I am a mum and I fucking love it. Nick and Nora are brilliant, and not in a overly Mummy kind of way. They make me laugh, they make me sigh with exhaustion, they make me debate pretty much every level of introspection and inner philsophy that it’s possible to ponder, and I do it on a daily basis.
I stopped talking about them here due to the relentless criticisms of a stupid fucking whore maladjusted woman who clearly needs to speak to someone professionally, instead of launching her unwanted opinion on others. I was sick of being mis-interpreted and the fear that someone would project their shit onto my kids made me make a unilateral decision – no more talking about Nick and Nora.
It’s hard to separate the twins from the telling here, though. It is, in fact, impossible.
So fuck this.
I am going to talk about the twins again. It will be limited, because boundaries, I have them. But I want to tell you about the white hot adoration Nora has for Disney’s “Tangled”. I want to shout out that Nick, he cracks me up on a regular basis. I want to be able to tell the world (or just my blog) that my favorite moments include our morning cuddle, when we pile on the sofa and watch “Bob the Builder” together.
And from now on, I will. I’m tired of posting only once a week or less (although I won’t be a daily gig like I used to be because I do work), and I’m tired of not talking about two of the most important people in my world.
There are other things that I have chucked to the wind – my determination to take care of the moles myself. After spending ages trying to get rid of the little bastards I called in a professional, who failed utterly. I called in another one, because the one thing they don’t tell you is that when you have molehills that means you have lots of soil stirred up on the lawn. When you have lots of fresh dirt piled on the lawn you have…cats. Your garden becomes one giant loo for the felines in the neighborhood. Not wanting our home to be known as “Cat Shit Alley”, I hired another professional.
He caught and killed within 24 hours.
I did a victory dance around a tiny rodent corpse.
I’m ok with that.
And finally the last area that I have had a fundamental shift falls squarely within the foodie category.
Since moving to the UK I’ve had a firm detestation of Marmite. I mean…firm. I would make it for the family and gag.
Then a month or so ago, I bought a loaf of Marmite and cheese bread at the local bakery. I made some for the twins, and while toasting it the smell, the sweet heavenly smell…I caved. I ate it.
Now I can’t stop eating Marmite toast.
Wait, it goes on.
A few weeks ago I smelled something delicious while at the train station. I smelled it the next day and the next. I asked Alastair what it was on the one day that he took the same train as I did into London, and he replied: “That’s a bacon sandwich, dear.”
“Wow,” I breathed. “It smells incredible.”
“That’s because they are.”
And I couldn’t get it out of my head. I kept thinking of bacon, to the extent that I finally broke down, bought some fluffy organic cashmere-swaddled, lullaby-sung to bacon. Alastair made us bacon sandwiches. They were good…but not worth flipping to meat for.
The next day, however, he made us all bacon and eggs.
My soul, I offered it to Satan. It was a taste extravaganza.
I have since tried steak (I’m not a fan, and won’t be going for it again), chorizo (which was ok, actually, although again not a biggie), and my mother-in-law made lamb. I – for the first time in my life, I believe – had a bite. I pretty immediately had a second bite. Monday night Alastair made us Souvlaki.
Yeah.
I do like lamb.
There may have been a mild dalliance with a bite of the twins’ chicken dinner tonight too. Let us not speak of it.
I’ve started eating meat again. I know that most of the time I will consciously choose to not eat meat and will generally order the veggie option off of most menus, but still. Bacon and eggs, man. You can’t beat that with a stick.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a hair-versus-tattoo debacle to ponder over.
-S.
I am blog friends with a guy who is married to the director of Tangled. He would love knowing that Nora is loving it!! Do you want the link to his blog? Let me know.
1. Yay for blogging about the twins – my daughter just turned two so I like to read here to see what I am in for!
2. Hooray the moles are gone – stupid little rodents. We have our own little ant problem here at my house, both inside and out. Ugh. Any tips from your readers would be greatly appreciated….
3. BACON – food of the gods. My daughter asks for bacon and eggs almost every morning. We have found that bacon is the one meat she will always eat!
4. I vote hair – cut mine short a year back and I love that it is as versatile as long hair! Puls, it grows back. Tattoos, on the other hand, quite permanent, or extremely painful to remove with scars leftover. Have 3 myself and one is close to 15 years old and is getting a little blotchy. The things we do in our “wild, youthful abandon!” Plus I’ve seen pics of you with shorter hair and you can rock it!
I loved, and have missed, reading your posts on the kiddos. Kudos to you for doing what feels right.
Have you had eggs benedict? It is a delightful combination of both ham and eggs. Not to mention the hollandaise. Butter. Sauce. No need to say more.
I thought Marmite was a sort of goo… it’s breadlike and toastable???
Life is too short to bow to trolls.
I’m glad you are blogging about the twins. They are a huge part of who you are and the normal people here love to hear how they are.
Don’t know what marmite is, so I can’t comment on that one…but bacon and eggs..very good. I cook up some bacon, fry an egg and break the yolk, toast up a bagel thin, or some wheat bread and spread it with some mashed avocado with salt and pepper and layer up a nice breakfast sandwich. So good.
Your spirit and determination is what keeps me coming back and reading. I love hearing about your kidlets. Good for you for taking back your space!
Great news on all items.
Ignore the trolls.
Trolls are exactly what they sound like. Short, stinky, green things, that no one wants to be around. Blog about what you want. That’s what keeps us reading!
Must Google marmite (with the caveat that I will actually search it on Yahoo, but googling makes for such a better verb).
Actually, the food of the gods is the BLT. With cheese.
I’m a fan of lamb, but I can’t make it properly, and my husband doesn’t like it anyway, so we never eat it. However, I think it’s time to go out and get a gyro.
Glad to hear some bits about the twins. I imagine that they are hilarious all the time. It changes over time, but even when my girl is annoying the crap out of me, she’s still hilarious. I didn’t get to watch Tangled. My husband liked it, my daughter was neutral. However, I think she has bad taste in movies, as she loves The Rescuers, which I think is horrible.
Sorry, that would be “gyros” – it seems like the singular should be gyro, but it’s not.
To help you with your bacon hit? I just discovered bacon heaven. In the form of Oscar Mayer. Yes I know I should buy local, but dang, it turns out Americans know how to smoke bacon. The absolute best way to cook it? On a wire rack (over a tinfoil covered baking tray). Put it into a cold oven, and turn up to 200deg C. 15 minutes. Pull it out. It’s crispy, and at the same time melts like butter in your mouth. I now make a whole pack of it, and crumple it into my cream cheese bagel for breakfast, over a salad for lunch, and pretty much over anything else I can find…try it!!
I’m so glad to hear that you’re going to write about the twins again! I’ve missed hearing about them.
I’m glad that you’re going to be writing about the twins again :-)
Good for you Shannon, screw the miserable bugger who can’t take delight in hearing nick and Nora’s adventures and your complete joy in them, even the bad bits as that makes me feel less alone.
Lovely to gave you back, have seriously missed you, even though I don’t comment much.
I thoroughly approve of the return to N+N discussions. It’s YOUR blog, and let’s face it, whatever any of us write about sooner or later some gormless nit will be a written ass about it. Their problem, though, their problem it is.
G
I don’t know if I’m more pleased that you’ll be writing about the twins or (hopefully) writing about Lamb. The king of all meats!
I’m not sure I can altogether repress my Snoopy ‘Meat’ Dance here.
I’ll leave you to imagine what that looks like.
I’m glad you’re blogging about the twins again. They’re a big part of you; it’s not right to have to avoid talking about such a big part of who/what you are. I’m sorry to hear about the jaw and hope that gets better.
To steal (and modify) a line from Wall Stree “Meat, for lack of a better word, is good. Meat is right. Meat works.” I don’t want bacon often, but some days it hits the spot like nothing else.
Rory adores tangled. With a Passion. But he fast forwards to th action bits with Flynn and maximus.
It’s a shame the toys are all so ‘girly’ tho!!!
I vote for hair by the way. But then I’m not a tattoo fN. Not that you asked for my opinio of course!!
I’m actually surprised they gave you British citizenship without proof that you’d eaten and enjoyed a proper English breakfast, complete with bacon deliciousness. And I’m with a (an excellent initial!). BLTs are one of my top five favorite foods, if avocado is added. Even though something called a BLAT doesn’t sound so appetizing.
Kudos for taking your blog back! Do both. Cut and get inked!
Bacon can be considered it’s own food group. I remember having a quasi-orgasmic experience once when my wife made BLT’s out of King’s Hawaiian bread. Nothing else like it.
And don’t let someone else’s misanthropic opinions (hint: opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one and they all stink) keep you from posting about the things you love, particularly the twins. In case of overbearing nastiness, there’s always the ban option, followed by either a “kiss my ass, you’re out of here” or, for the really obnoxious, a creative troll edit. Don’t let a random stranger muzzle you.
And take care of that jaw of yours, so you can continue to experience the fine pleasures of bacon and eggs.
Bacon and marmite are definitely their own food groups
Here’s to sticking one or two fingers up and you doing what you want to – now onto the important thing – hair? Coloured?
More posting. YEAH. I did the same thing with meat. Still don’t eat much of it but bacon, always crave that stuff. When you said self mole removal I thought you were talking about on your skin! D’oh. Look forward to more posts!
Good for you! How does that saying go. Those who pay mind dont matter and those who matter, dont mind. Something lile that. Bacon yeah! Have you tried a bacon and egg sandwich. Nummy! and with a little strawberry jam. oh my word! Just saying
Love you babe. And those brilliant blondie babes, too. You’ve gotta be you, whoever that is. Half the fun is figuring that stuff out. I vote for the awesome tattoo as I like your hair this length.
Love those little blonde cherubs ever since they were just a twinkle, so I’m glad you have decided to let us in a bit more. As for the hair/tattoo, I am currently fascinated with tattoos having gotten my first this year. I’m trying to figure out what might be next…words, but I have yet to decide which ones and where. Do you have something in mind, or just the desire? AS for bacon, yes, yes, and yes. BLT sandwiches are divine. My father makes these delicious Bacon, Cheese, Tomato sandwiches which are to die for. Square white-trash bread, a slice of American cheese, a slice of tomato…then he cooks the bacon halfway and puts a slice on each sandwich. They are then placed under the broiler to let the bacon finish cooking, and allow the cheese to get melty and become one with the tomato and white bread. Served open faced with a Coca-Cola and Fritos. >sigh< The possibilities are endless, welcome back to carnivorism.
Yay! I’ve been missing hearing about them. And their annual sitting in the bluebells picture. I love that you do that every year.
That’s all I gotta say.
Yay about the twins and yay about the meat!!! : ) And yay about more posts! I am pleased on all fronts.
Yay, I love hearing about the twins too. Though all of your writing is interesting to me. Congrats also on finding some new things to love in the food world.
Twins!!!
I think we grow and change with our kids. I don’t know exactly why, but we do.
Hair grows back. Tattoos are awesome. I say do both.
Well, statistically, bacon is the gateway drug to vegetarians. No, really.
Also, can’t wait to read about the twins again.
I’m bubble wrapping Phoebe the kitten as we speak – one, she reminds me of whatever kind of reptile thing plays the sidekick in “Tangled,” and two, she’s a wonderful mouser. I mean, yes, her experience is limited to the stuffed kind around the house, but she likes those so much I image she’d go wild for the sort that actually move of their own accord. And she’s little, so shove her down a mole hill and let her go to town. So if a hastily-wrapped overnight package shows up on the doorstep, poke holes in it ASAP and shove any sort of edible item inside. Marmite toast, bacon, noodles, a wool blanket – she’ll eat it. Not kidding on the wool blanket.
Also, pardon my Yankee English, but fuck the haters. And let us all know the sheer-adoration-to-naysaying ratio, we’ll all balance it out. All I ask in return is that if you’re going to sin, have some tuna sushi for me. That is the only thing that really tempts me anymore.
Glad you’re getting back to doing whatever YOU want to do.
p.s.
It’a Elf time of year!!!!!
Tattoo – put the twins handprints or footprints when they were born into a tattoo.
Because you’re writing about bacon, I need to ask a question. I live in the US and have been watching Big Brother UK. I’ve noticed that the bacon the houseguests cook in the morning is lean and center-cut-porkchop-y. What they are cooking looks significantly better than the bacon Americans are used to. I’m a vegetarian that still longs for bacon and am curious if I should actually be longing for UK bacon.
Kate—you might look for “back bacon”, often known as Canadian Bacon in the US. It’s a leaner cut of meat and can be cooked the same.
And just because—Bacon Cat. Perfectly pet-lover safe. And the quote refers to the cat’s owner, author John Scalzi.