1) I can’t stand it when someone hands me the phone, in the middle of their conversation, and says “Here, you talk to them!”. If you do that to me you’re facing a day of cold frosty stares.
2) The Sammy Davis Jr. song “Candyman” feels really creepy.
3) If you open a bag of crisps (potato chips) then I want the ones that are curled over themselves or have at some point in the hideously unhealthy fry cycle gotten stuck to neighboring crisps, so that when you remove them from the bag they come out as one giant suburb in the otherwise urban crisp landscape.
4) Likewise I like the small crispy stabby looking chips (French fries), not the giant puffy potato ones.
5) I may be several hundred emails behind at work but I cannot have the red light flashing on the Blackberry, and I will open the email file manager just to get it to stop.
6) I cannot sew. I do, however, rock the cross stitch and I enjoy doing it, however cross stitch patterns are generally seriously naff samplers that I do not want visible in my home in any way, shape or form because they look like something that is only inches away from being a quasi-clever poodle cover for the spare rolls of toilet paper.
7) Years of IBS has long taught me that white bread is the product of the devil and I avoid it at all costs. With one exception – a bakery in a nearby village makes what they call “thick cut sarnies”, meaning they use white bread sliced so thick you could use it to staunch the flow from open heart surgery. They are the best sandwiches ever, and I will do almost anything to have them (including not get angry with you if you hand the phone to me mid-conversation).
8) I often think I am the only person in the Westernized world who has never seen an episode of 90210.
9) I was given one of these wake-up lights and I love it so much I want to curl up in bed with it, which is not a bright (heh) idea as I’d almost certainly impale myself on the alarm button (Philips, really. Think.) I had a cheap £6 alarm clock that woke us every morning screaming a gutteral “EEH! EEH! EEH!” that was so hostile that baby kittens would fall to their death from their tiny baskets (no not really. I mean, there’s no such thing as a “baby kitten”.) But then I got one of these and the light slowly, gently comes on. The alarm choices range from birds (not brilliant, I treat birds as freaky germ-carriers of nature, I don’t really want them in my room) to African drums and-my choice-windchimes. I’m not sure how I ever functioned without an alarm clock shaped like Babarpapa, but there you go.
10) My toenails must be painted, always. However I rarely paint my fingernails because it makes my fingers feel heavy. I tried to explain this to a friend once, she told me to stop talking as it made me appear thick. She may have a point there.
11) It pays to be different. When the BBC announced that David Tennant and Catherine Tate were going to star in Much Ado About Nothing. In London. You know…nearby. The web server of the theatre crashed and I kept trying, because I knew that I really, really wanted a ticket. While trying to get the website to work I did some digging on the web and found a forum talking about it and a side phone number to try to ring the theatre with. So I did. And I chatted to a very nice woman who offered me third row seats from the stage a few days before press launch and a £10 reduction in ticket prices. Excellent.
12) I love Glee. I love the character of Britney. I did not love Rachel from Glee singing Britney Spears (yes we’re a bit behind over here). A+B does not equal C.
13) My stepmom left me a copy of Rachael Ray’s magazine. I’ve never heard of her. I wouldn’t know her from Adam (apart, of course, from obvious difference in gonads). But I love her recipes. She had a pretzel crust peanut butter pie (so much of that recipe sounds wrong, but British folk, do not sneer! It can be good!) that our dinner guests last week raved over it when I made. I hope she’s not a nutcase, because I like what she has to offer.
14) The King’s Speech – one of the greatest films I have ever seen. Go. Watch. Love. I’ll wait.
15) I often pair up superheroes or cartoons in my head and see whom would win in a fight. For example, in a fight between Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake, my money’s on Strawberry Shortcake. Cake totally looks like she’d fight dirty.
-S.
Updated – forgot to add – if you live in the UK and you want to avoid snacking on unhealthy items, then I cannot recommend Graze enough. Small, delicious, single-serving packages of nuts, berries, and treats that arrive in the post and that you can take with you to work and don’t feel bad about eating. I adore them and think that they are absolutely brilliant. And no they not only didn’t pay me to promote them, they don’t even know that I am (but am not adverse to signs of gratitude. I’m just saying.)
Ummm….this may become a habit. :)
I have the same thing about my fingernails. Polish somehow makes them feel like they are plastic or something. Jeeze, maybe your friend was right….I feel like a dork discussing it. A thick dork. oh well.
Glee. Love. end of discussion.
David Tennant……mmmmmm…….oops kinda drifted off there. Sigh.
Tori :)
Tori – I confess, these kinds of posts come across as “lazy man’s blogging”! Truthfully, this kind of thing is in draft and added to for ages, and also helps show people just how dorky and awkward I am. Or that we are, considering you have a painted fingernail thing, too :)
4) You can have the stabby ones if I can have the fluffy ones.
5) I no longer have a blackberry, but OMG YES to this. And now with my iPhone when there’s a message it has a “1″ on the app icon and I. Must. Make. IT. GO. AWAY.
8) Nope. ME EITHER!!!
12) I <3 Glee. Very much.
13) Rachael Ray is not a nutcase, just slightly off. She has some great ideas, but she also says E.V.O.O. in place of extra virgin olive oil and I want to stab her in the eye.
15) THIS is why I love you. Ok, not only why, but it certainly ups your cool factor in my eyes.
xoxo
Totally with you and Tori on the fingernail painting thing. I can’t feel the difference on my toes, maybe the nails on our toesies are thicker than fingernails?
haven’t seen an episode of 90210 either… YOU ARE NOT ALONE. :)
I went in and changed my blinky light notifications on my blackberry because I’m such a slave to that damn light. So now, if there’s email, it doesn’t blink. Thank the baby jebus.
I also feel like my hands are heavy if my fingernails are polished.
And because I love you a million times over: http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/
1) Plenty of people have heard me yelling “No! Don’t put me on the phone! I don’t want to talk to (insert name here). It makes me sound like a total bitch, but I can’t stand when people push the phone my way.
3,4,5) We are so the same.
8) You and Kim are both weird.
13) I can’t stand Rachael Ray. She was so annoying on $40 A Day that I have never been able to look at her without thinking stabby thoughts. While her recipes may be delicious, I refuse to look at them based on principle. Or something.
15) In my mind, Cake is ALWAYS a winner.
I covet thy alarm clock
1 & 2. I am with you.
3 & 4. I don’t like potato chips. but give me fries any time. :)
8. I have never seen Glee…and I do feel like I may be the only one who hasn’t. :)
9. I hate my alarm clock, but I hate being woken up by a ringing phone even more.
10. I don’t paint any of my nails. Never have, never will. I have never had a mani/pedi either.
13. Rachel Ray is OK, but why bother saying EVOO if every time you do, you explain what that means. That and “GB-Garbage Bowl.”
2. It’s originally from Willy Wonka, so it really stands to reason that it’s creepy as hell.
5. I’m the same with voicemails. I hate that stupid icon, just there as if to say “call your dad back! call your dad back!”
6. I can’t sew well, but I’m glad I can manage it enough to sew up massive holes when in a bind (eg. when my friend split the seam of his only dress pants open during the Model UN conference).
12. Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?
13. I find her annoying and ridiculous, but at least she has <a href="http://www.slobak.com/rachaelray.html"her own drinking game. EVOO!
15. I’m more interested in who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a shark. After reports came of bull sharks being swept inland by the floods in Australia and randomly swimming down main roads, I was sure I’d get to see it on Youtube or something, but alas, nothing.
I’ve never seen 90210, and frankly don’t care to.
My fingers feel heavy with paint on them too! Also my eyelashes feel heavy with mascara. No joke.
While Rachel Ray’s recipes are sometimes tasty, I refer to her as Raytard Ray. Holy schmoly she grates on my nerves.
I’m glad you gave me the heads up on all that…
(and whilst we’re here, 5, 7 (not the same exception, but still), and 14 – hell yeah!
With you on graze …. When I worked (omg 2 years ago) about half the office used to get a graze box every day!!!!
I love painted finger nails but I can’t stop staring at my hands – think someone showing off an engagement ring – so don’t do it very often!!
M x
PS. I SERIOUSLY over use the exclamation mark.
That’s not an easy phrase to write without using one either.
Me too on the blackberry light thingy and the chips (fries chips, not crisps chips.)
And The King’s Speech – YES. I saw it with my family at Christmas, based SOLELY on the fact that Colin Firth was in it. We were all very pleasantly surprised by what an excellent film it was – dad, stepmother, boyfriend, and me all agreeing on something is pretty rare!
We would do quite well sharing a bag of crisps. I can’t stand the folded over ones.
I feel naked without my toenails painted (well, worse than naked because I hate it more), but I never paint my fingernails. They don’t feel heavy, but washing my hands one hundred and eleventy seven times a day makes it chip really fast. Then I completely and totally obsess over it until I can fix it. I am anxious enough without that help.
I might never wake up if I had your alarm clock. I have one that is made for deaf people. It shakes the mattress, flashes lights, and makes a noise that my animals think is a sign of the apocalypse. It usually works, but not always.
I actually like this kind of post. I love your writing, but these tidbits make me smile.
I have also never seen an episode of 90210.
I also love the little crispy fry bits.
Ditto on The King’s Speech. Adore it.
Adore you.
#1 is the WORST! If I wanted to talk to someone on the phone, I would call them myself. If I wanted to talk to whoever you’re talking to, I would ask. DO NOT give me the phone!
Also, the Blackberry light is the worst thing ever. I must make it stop blinking.
And Rachel Ray…is kind of annoying.
1)Adam does this to me all the fucking time. I hate it.
6)Pants beat me to it.
8)I was going to watch it once, because everyone else at school was. Then the series ended. I don’t think I missed much.
10)Agree and agree. Sometimes if my nails are painted I start chipping it off because I swear my nails are suffocating.
12)Hard as I try, I can’t get into it. I just can’t. In fact, it often makes me feel uncomfortable in some way I can’t really describe.
14)I loathe movie theaters, but I am anticipating its release on DVD.
6—What would you like to do as a cross-stitch? I know there are people who develop patterns, so think on it.
8—90210. No. Never seen it.
10—It’s possible to tell the difference between a pre-1982 U.S. penny (100% copper) and a post-1982 U.S. penny (copper-coated zinc) by balancing them on the ends of two of your fingertips. I totally buy the idea that fingernail polish makes your fingers feel heavy.
11—SO. JEALOUS.
15—Are you unfamiliar with The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny by a band named Lemon Demon? I think you’ll understand why I love that song.
11 again—SO. VERY. JEALOUS.
OMG. That graze link has me doing the happy dance over here. Exactly how I like to eat. I just had a giggle at the first sentence I saw on their site…”four punnets of nibbles” tee hee.
As for the chip/crisp thing we are on the same page too. I forsee problems in the future should we ever be the last two people on earth, with the last remaining crisp bag. ;)
I have the flashing red blackberry LED issue as well, but I’m generally the same about those bouncing icons in my iMac’s doc. Bizarrely, I nearly added that very same wake up light to my amazon(.co.uk) wish list that I’m compiling as a kind of shopping list for when we get there in a couple of months…I ultimately chose not to – since I will rather use my iPod touch for that – and hubby and I get up at different times. You are the first person in a decade that I have heard say the word “Babarpapa” I had a Babarpapa night light as a kid – and NO-ONE has ever known what I’m talking about when I mention it. (A what? What are you talking about – some kind of character?) Sheesh.
My toenails are also (mostly) always painted, and I tend to put clear varnish on my fingernails when I remember – but I hate chipping – which is why I never put colour on. If I ever (maybe once or twice a year) get gel nails put on – I will enjoy them for a week, and then spend the next week voraciously trying to remove them through whatever means possible – except the obvious which is a return visit to the salon. Logic! ;)
1. I only pass the phone over when I become a relay
3. Yep
5. Yep
8. Never seen it. Ever.
9. Loving my new DAB alarm, as now John Humphrys wakes me by whispering quietly in my ear, slowly getting louder until (if I do nothing) he is shouting about the front page of the Telegraph… (plus it knows about weekends all by itself)
12. My girls love it so much four tickets to Glee Live at the O2 were delivered yesterday. The next day we are all going to Arcade Fire in Hyde Park. I’m loving them being old enough to go to proper gigs (Smallest is 11 today, first time in 26 years I’ve not had a daughter under the age of 11)
14. Desperate to see it – will probably have to wait until I’m on a plane.
I love these posts! And I am amazed at how many of these I said “YES” to. I kinda enjoy Rachel Ray and I do like her recipes. And cross stitch yourself into contentment – you don’t have to actually do anything with finished products. Just tuck them away somewhere and do another one.
#9 – I HAVE to have one!
#10 – I always paint my toenails, but my fingernails are allergic to polish, and if I wear it, my nails peel back from the edge, split and crack.
#13 – Rachel may have good recipes, but she has a very annoying voice – sort of raspy, squeaky and she is perkier than anyone ought to be, ever.
Rachael Ray = shrill harpie
I cannot watch her show(s)
my fingertips hurt after I remove nail polish. for 2 days.
I too only paint toenails. And the Kings speech was wonderful!
I love Britney in Glee too and she rocked Britney!
I think we need to design some modern crossstich patterns, may be mafia ones!
12- You look terrible, I look awesome.
I want to see the King’s Speech so very much. I don’t think my husband would go with me though. Might have to put on my big girl panties and go by myself for once.
I love Rachael Ray and worry she works too much .. my inner Jewish mother wannabe something out. She has too many shows to keep track of on the Food Network, plus a daily talk show thing that Queen Oprah gave her and the magazine and books and and and oh, and dog food I think.
I only paint my toenails too. Once in a rare while I’ll paint my finger nails but I wash my hands way too much and it starts coming off. When that happens I MUST peel it all off. Yes, peel it. It’s a sickness.
I was going to reply to more (writing novels in comments as usual) but the triplets re fighting like mad today. I’d throw them out in the snow, but it’s deeper than they are tall.
The Rachael Ray drinking game link was perfect. Whenever my sister and I are cooking together, one of us will always say “Just EYEBALL it!!!” and then giggle hysterically. Also, we all know by now what E.V.O.O. is, you do not need to say “E.V.O.O (extra virgin olive oil)” EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I’ve never seen an episode of 90210. New or old (and I can’t believe there’s a new.. that’s just.. weird..)
10 – you are not alone. Always rockin the pedi, and I do like my fingernails painted a couple of times a year, but after a day or so the polish has to come off as I can’t stand it. Yes, too heavy.
12 – Glee is awesome, but Rachel is best used for certain songs (Barbra!), and it really doesn’t include Britney.
13 – yes, Rachael Ray is a nutter
A world where there is no Rachel Ray. My head just exploded.
I’m coveting your alarm clock…seriously considering getting one as winters in Pittsburgb are grey, grey and more grey.
I don’t like Rachael Ray – too many unfindable ingredients.