“We’re lost.”

“No, we’re not.”

“Yes we are. We have been lost for ages now.”

“The hell we are! I put the details in the satnav. I’m not stupid you know,”

“No, you’re called a Wise Man for nothing,” comes the dry retort.

The travellers look up at the sky, incidentally trying to get their bearings in an “I’ll navigate via the stars like real men do though I haven’t a clue what I’m doing” kind of way.

“Look, Mel, just admit you don’t know where we are.”

Mel sighs, swears under his breath, and adjusts the display on the TomTom. “I know where we are, Bal,” he replies testily. “Just bear with me.”

Cas sighs, blowing hair out of his eyes. “What are we doing here? It’s not like you even got the invite personally, you just saw it on Twitter.”

“You say that like it’s unreliable,” Mel counters. “The ten commandments were on Twitter.”

“Yeah but there were supposed to be thirty of them,” Bal refutes hotly.

“And there would have been, only you can only have 140 characters on Twitter! ‘Thou shalt’ uses a lot of space, you know.”

There is semi-companionable silence as the three wise men sit in the late evening’s heat.

“Well,” Bal says as an attempt at peace. “We could follow that large star there.”

“That’s not a star. That’s global warming,” replies Mel wearily.

“Oh. Right. Still, I have a feeling we should follow the star.”

“A feeling? Would this be the same feeling as the one you had that told you to invest heavily in Florida property a few years back?”

“Well, I – ”

“And like the feeling you had telling you to invest with that Madoff guy?”

“No that was clearly a mistake, I – ”

“Right. Stop talking then.”

“Come on chaps,” Cas said companionably. “We’ve come this far, might as well keep going. Maybe if we move ahead we can at least get a signal for our phones.”

“Good idea.”

“Fair point.”

They clamber back on their camels and continue to make their way through the desert.

“Hey did you hear? Herod’s so freaked out about this Messiah thing that he’s thinking of ordering all infants to be killed.” Mel offered conversationally.

“That sounds like overkill.” Bal joked.

“Wow, that was really crass, man.” Cas admonished.

“Sorry. I’m tired.”

“We all are,” retorted Bal. “And what the hell is that smell?”

“Oh sorry. Sorry,” Mel said. “It’s my gift for the baby.”

“What the hell did you buy, an unwashed athletic sock?”

“No, no. No, I bought myhrr.”

“Myhrr?” shrieked Cas with laughter. “Are you serious? You brought incense?”

“Well I thought he’d like it, after all being a baby is fairly ripe business,” Mel said defensively. “What did you bring, if you think you’re so great?”

“I brought gold,” Cas said smugly.

“Gold,” Bal said.

“Yes. Gold.”

“It’s a baby, not a stock exchange. I’d have thought a good nappy cake or even a teddy bear would have worked better. What’s a baby going to do with gold?”

“All right then, Dr. Spock, what did you bring?” Cas asked defensively.

“Well I brought Frankincense. And before you mock – because I know you will! – it’s in resin form and the little chap can chew on it as he teethes.”

“Right. Frankincense resin. You are so totally the baby whisperer.”

“Bite me, Cas.”

“Don’t fight, guys.” Mel cut in. “We’re tired, we’re lost – ”

“I knew it!”

” – and turning on each other won’t help. Let’s just look forward to the big event, ok?”

Silence. Then –

“Look! I see a stable!”

“A stable? They’d better have wifi.”

“Let’s just stop there for the night. We’re never going to find our way there anyway.”

The three men – weary and dusty from their long travels – make their way to the stable, and dismount from the camels. They tie them to the side of the building and walk in through the large, open doors. Inside the stable is full of animals, the smell of heat and the light of many lanterns.

“Animals. Animals and I see the antibacterial handgel dispenser is empty. Good thing I brought wipes,” Bal mutters, pulling a travel packet of antibacterial wipes from the thick folds of his robes.

“And the fire marshall is not going to be happy with all these fire hazards,” adds Cas. “Straw and open flame? I see a health and safety assessment coming.”

“Shhh! Quiet! Look!” Mel says in a quiet whisper, as he glances dreamily at the cradle in front of him. “It’s the little guy.”

The three men stand there in stunned silence, watching the little one sleep. Mel surreptitiously wipes a corner of his eye and gets out his iPhone. “He’s so beautiful. I’m going to put a photo of him on Facebook.”

“And I’m so going to Like that photo,” whispers Bal, also choked up.

“He’s perfect,” breathes Cas.

They stand there, dumbstruck and in love. Cas wipes his eyes on his sleeves and puts an arm around Mel’s shoulder and leans in companionably.

“This is perfect.”

“It is.”

“You’re sorry you brought myrrh now, aren’t you?”

“Totally.”

“I thought as much.”

-S.