We worked like maniacs this weekend – the Cowboy told us he needed the room we’d been using as our Piece of Shit Temporary Kitchen. The place was barely functional, but it was the only kitchen we had. That space is about to become a utility room and a wet room (I think wet rooms are usually only found over here in Europe. It’s a bathroom with a shower, but the shower isn’t enclosed – the floor is lowered where the drain is, but basically the room is one open bathroom.)
To do this, we had to work like crazy to get our new kitchen ready.
Our new kitchen is what used to be our living room. You might remember it as the room where we had to rip the ceiling out twice and where we had to flay the hell out of the fireplace. The room was stripped, wired, emptied, and then plastered by a professional. While the plaster was drying, Angus and I laid slate tiles.

It was a family affair.

Ever laid slate tiles? No? Let me tell you – they are a mother fucker. They’re natural tiles so the thickness varies from tile to tile, meaning you have to constantly work to keep them level otherwise you wind up with a drunk floor.
We got the floor grouting done on Sunday and then started to move in bits, including the dishwasher, which had been lounging about lazily in the storage container. Angus hooked it up. I masturbated heaped affection on it. I then put every dish through it just to try to feel clean again. Moving the dishwasher gave us our first injury, too – while Angus and I were carrying it, I slipped and got my leg pinned beneath the dishwasher and a rubbish pile of bricks.

Sympathy will be accepted.
While Angus worked to get the dishwasher, washing machine, and sink working I had to empty our Piece of Shit Temporary Kitchen.

I wasn’t enjoying it. I definitely didn’t enjoy it when I found that that small leak on the floor you see? The one that was under a cabinet? Yes, it was hosting a small family of maggots. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to just burn the floor and throw away all of our kitchen possessions. Instead I hit the Piece of Shit Temporary Kitchen with antibacterials and cleaned it hard, even though the place is about to be hit by half-naked sweaty men bearing crowbars.
I think the maggots were the lowest point of the build so far for me. We’ve had ant attacks, raining nurseries, dust, cuts, scrapes, tears, discomfort, the inability to actually find a pair of socks in this goddamn disaster of a house, but nothing made me feel that disgusted.
Once I emptied the Piece of Shit Temporary Kitchen, I left a note for it.

We are now fully moved into our new kitchen. The electrics work, the vent works, and Steve gets hooked up today, so our first make-out cooking session is set for this evening. The kitchen is far, far from done. The cabinets need doors, the tiles need sealing, we need to order a granite work surface (last thing for us to do), and the fridge is actually going in a hole cut in the wall. But it’s usable now, and that’s all that matters.

Far from done. But it’s working, so there’s something to celebrate. Of course getting to the kitchen means you have to duck under a hole cut into the cupboard under the stairs. We’re worried people will think we’ve taken Harry Potter a little too seriously.
The rest of the house is getting hit hard. The nursery, which has been stripped of the wallpaper (leaving me to feel horrible and guilty and like we’re subjecting the babies to a room like an Austrian cellar) disappears this week. The babies are getting moved into the guest room, which will be their new nursery. The guest room is currently our temporary living room, so the living room will get moved to our bedroom, which is basically the dumping ground for anything and everything. I’d show you a picture of our bedroom today, but it’s kind of a disgrace. You have to navigate the obstacle course to get to the bed. Bedrooms are supposed to be relaxing, not a Marine training ground.
At least it’s temporary. Once we get the real living room waterproofed and floored, we can move into it. It’s temporary.
I keep repeating that to make myself feel better.
The good news is it can no longer rain in the babies’ room. The roof is done. No really. It is.

And yesterday, in a move that shocked the nation (or at least this house), the builders, stripped to the waist in our 80 degree weather, took down the scaffolding. They started putting windows in. Doors go in today.
You might remember what the back of the house used to look like:

It was a bit of a mess, as that was in the middle of winter and everything was overgrown, horrible, and dead.
The house has changed. Huge changes. It’s far from done – doors need to go in (one set of French doors and two sets of these fantastic bifold doors), special glass needs installing (the living room has a huge glass wall panel to the far right of it where you can see a big gaping hole, as well as a partial glass roof) and the inside is nowhere near done. But it’s a massive change.
Ready?

What do you think?
-H.