Yesterday I blearily got up and got ready, opting for a Boho peasant look with the gorgeous French Connection skirt Angus gave me for my birthday. I threw on my denim jacket and grabbed my briefcase and dashed out the door to endure the first 2.5 hours of train riding I would need to get to the conference center up north, where Dream Job had booked our unit’s anual meeting. The trains were invariably packed, and late to boot, so when I finally stepped off the train I was cutting it fine to make the 10:30 start time. I hail a cab and get to the conference center, stepping off the curb and running smack into one of my seniors.
“I thought senior managers were always on time.” I joked, pulling my briefcase strap higher on my shoulder.
“We like to make an entrance.” he replied deadpan. “I thought project managers always deliver on time.”
I grin and look at my watch. “It’s bang-on 10:30. I choose to be called efficient.”
“I see you didn’t elect to read the invite, which said ‘No denim’.” he says, pointing to my jacket.
He’s right. I did elect not to read the invite. “I’m going for punky boho engineering rebellion here.” I reply. He grins at me and we sneak into the room.
I am stunned by the sheer enormity and professionalism of the gig. There are camerammen everywhere and a sound board running in the back of the room. Spotlights are strung across the massive ceiling and there are no fewer than 5 massive screens on which scenes from the stage is being projected. Two professional photographers are circling, and there are around 1500-2000 people in the room.
I am impressed.
I take a seat on an empty row all the way in the back to the left, my senior sitting on a line of chairs just beneath the spotlights behind me. I have the entire row to myself, and so I kick off my shoes (as one does) and tuck my feet beneath me (as one also does). I notice my phone has no coverage in the room so I put it in my bag and sit back. Third in Charge is talking on the stage with the spotlight squarely on him.
And it’s talk.
Lots of talk.
Right about the time they start slinging around “EBITDA” I realize I am a tiny bit bored. I am not one for the financials. I open my briefcase and dig out the bag of jelly beans I brought. With regret, I realize it is too dark in the room to see the flavors I have in my available spectrum.
On stage: “And our unit’s margins this year were…”
Me: Eat jellybean. Be pleased it was berry flavored.
On stage: “Our financial objectives this year are….”
Me: Pretend to put bag away in a display of restraint but know I am only fooling self and so open jelly bean bag again.
On stage: “The percentage of gross margin…”
Me: My boy shorts are riding up my ass. Oh…wait…yes, and up my crotch now, too.
On stage: “Very pleased that spending….”
Me: Gross. A banana-flavored one. Hate banana. Burn down banana plantations.
This goes on for some time.
Then the stage changes. Funky hip-hop music comes on and the lights turn bright orange. Third in Charge now grins and explains that the employees this year who were recognized will now have their names shown on the screen. I grin and, popping a sour pear jelly bean and wishing I could adjust my knickers, I see my name go up the screen, one of about 60 individuals and 8 teams of about 10 people each. I smile inwardly and wonder where the hell my bottle of champagne and £200 worth of vouchers have gone to. I whisk a pen out of my bag and scribble a note to check that on the fleshy part of my hand.
Third in Charge smiles. “And of this group, some special individuals will be the winners of the ‘Outstanding Performance of the Year’ award from Dream Job. They will be going with the senior management team to a resort European destination”-and here they show an amazing clip complete with beautiful people and sparkling blue water- “with their partners, all expenses paid. This includes flights, transfers, and the luxury hotel! So when I call the name, if you’d please come up and receive your letter of commendation and have your picture taken, please. And let’s make sure we give them a big hand for all of their hard work!”
I eat a margarita flavored jelly bean and shrug. Long for a real margarita. Wonder if I will eat all my jelly beans now or if restraint really will kick in at some point in my early 30′s.
The music gets funky as people start getting awards. I reach into my jelly bean bag for another one when I hear:
“This next Outstanding Performance of the Year award goes to a hard worker and her-”
My ear twitches. Her?
“-contributions towards the commercial and technical aspects-”
Hang on. Of all of those names the only female who is technical is-
“Miss Helen Adelaide-”
-me.
“-of Project Rocket-Riding Gerbil!”
That’s my project.
That’s me.
My heart explodes as I realize they called my name. Shaking, I put my shoes on. The lights swing towards me as I numbly walk to the front of the room in front of all those clapping people. Third in Charge grins and extends an envelope to me which I somehow grasp. He kisses my cheek and shakes my hand.
“Well done. We’re very proud.” he says.
“I swear the rocket will be launched on time.” I croak.
He smiles. “I know.” We turn towards the photographer and have our photo taken. I am told later that I grinned the entire way up and down the aisle, but I don’t remember any of it.
I head back to my seat, stopping to hug my senior in the very last row. With shaking hands, I open the envelope.
And that is how my everyday Tuesday up north ended.
I have a bottle of champagne and £200 worth of vouchers.
I am also going away with Angus on an all-expense paid trip to a stunningly posh hotel in June.
To Monaco.
-H.
Go on – just watch this for the NSPCC!
Make me feel loved! Go on! Sign the Guest Map!
Just rewards for all your hard work. But going on holidays with members of the Senior Management team…it’s a bittersweet kind of reward, isn’t it?
Woohoo! Congratulations! Enjoy your holiday with your boy. You deserve every moment of it.
Congrats mate, that’s great.
I was hoping you weren’t going to say they noticed while you were on stage that you had written on your hand to chase up what happened to the champers and the vouchers!
Cue the Madonna music: “Holiday, oh yeah oh yeah! Celebrate”
Congratulations!!!!!!! VERY well deserved though!
P.S. Please post that picture that they took!
Lucky! :) Enjoy it!
What do you know, they’re not totally useless when it comes to recognizing and rewarding hard work and talent! Well deserved, I think. I’m very happy for you and couldn’t have asked for a nicer bit of news to start my day with. *sitting here with big, big grin*
GO GO GO!!! Congratulations.
… banana jelly beans are the best, sorry. No burning down plantations, ok ;-)?
Holy shit! Thank god you could get your shoes on in time – most people would have been struggling to get a shoe on whilst the spotlight was shining on them lol.
Monaco? How cool is that!! You deserve it for all your hard work though, congratulations.
That is so cool! I kept thinking you would end it by going on stage and adjusting your underpants! But you got the shoes on in time, didn’t fall down or trip as I would have!
Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, congratulations! You certainly deserve it.
That’s wonderful! Congratulations!
Bannana Jelly Beans ROCK. Feel free to pick them out and send them to me.
Monaco, eh? Should be fun.
Try not to get too hammered around the seniors, ok?
Touch the Banana Plantations and there will be hell to pay.
Congrats on the award. Kind of sends a conflicting message based on what your boses boss said to you last week.
Woo! Go you!
They finally realised how much of a reward you need for all the hard work you’ve done. Plus you get champers to celebrate in the mean time!
I’m with you on the banana jelly bean front, the only ones worse than those which are made out of the same stuff you make wine from (i tried to put the word and it wouldn’t let me!)… but i can’t eat anything that flavour… long story involving a sex ed class!
AxXx
CONGRATULATIONS! I love the way you write and your company loves the way you manage projects. YAAAAAYYYYY!
Oh, Helen, congratulations!
I wish they’d had the sense to choose you and only you, so you wouldn’t be dealing with the work-people when you’re away, but damn! Congratulations!
Wahoo! That is fabulous! Congrats!
I am so happy for you! Its nice to be recognized when you have worked so hard! I would love to go to Monaco, you lucky dog you!
Nice one, bruva!!!
(Burn down the banana plantations. I’ll hold your hair so it doesn’t ignite.)
Congrats!!!! May I ask, were the jelly beans jelly bellys or just regular jelly beans? ;)
one your jelly bean discussions make me laugh!
two you so bloody well deserved it and I couldnt be more pleased for you!
three whoop it up in Monaco!
Way to Go, Helen!
They were Jelly Bellys.
Are there any other kind?
wow – that is fantastic! you deserve an all expenses paid vacation. hopefully, you can ditch the senior management and have some fun.
That is too cool! Way to go Helen!
congrats! congrats!!!! :-)
This seems like a perfect time to delurk. Congratulations!! Monaco is gorgeous.
Had it been me, I would have been caught with my teeth stuck together with purple jelly beans :-)
Mmm. Jelly Bellys. I agree with you, but since I live close enough to a factory to get a good selection, I generally select for the flavors I like. Or carefully pick out bags of Belly Flops (imperfects), which are very inexpensive.
Isn’t it nice when you find out your hard work HAS been noticed? Especially when you get to the point where you believe it will never happen, so it comes as a wonderful surprise?
Congratulations to the marvelous Helen!
Congratulations,
I had a feeling it was going that way when I was reading. Have fun on your trip. How much is 200 pounds in dollars?
You rock, Lady Helen!! Monaco is a wonderful spot and should be fabulous in June. Congrats and lots of hugs!!!
Even though I have actually been to the Jelly Belly factory here in California for the tour, I will not claim to be a jelly bean connoisseur. However, the Starburst jelly beans, and the Life Saver jelly beans, and especially the Jolly Rancher jelly beans are quite tasty themselves.
Congratulations, Helen!! You deserve every bit of it! :)
YAY! Congratulations.
Holy Crap! Congratulations!!!
:-)
I’m so proud of you Helen.
hot damn! congratulations! all of your hard work has finally paid off.
Awesome! Enjoy it!
Congratulations!!!! A vacation with the person who is nearest and dearest in your life sounds like a pretty good reward for all of your hard work. It’s well deserved.
I’m with you and Ms. Pants on this. Banana = BLECHT!
Congrats on the big trip. Wish I could win a fabulous trip somewhere. Shit. I wish I could score an invite to the admin lunch here at work.
And again, with Ms. Pants…
I said… Nice one, Bru… Bruvaaaaaaaaaa!
Oh Helen i am just so pleased for you! You really deserve this and i hope you know that too.
I also hope you are going to spend the £200 on jelly beans, though not the banana ones ;)
Abs x
YAY!! Way to go Helen, enjoy that holiday with Angus, you deserve it!!! :)
dude, Monaco…tell Prince Albert “hi” for me.
and don’t get caught sunbathing topless by your CEO like I did…unless of course it will somehow further your career.
*waves hands frantically* Take me to Monaco. TAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
Congrats on your award! To celebrate in the meantime, throw all of your banana jelly beans at rude train passengers.
i knew it all along.
you should read the strength, beauty and spirit you project here… i know it’s visible to everyone around you.
you may doubt yourself, but i don’t.
Jocelyn- Hello!
Diamonddave-£200 is about $376 USD.
Oh, and Kalisah? I’m all about the sunbathing topless.
Fucking perfect breasts and all that.